Today we’re going to talk about six things that a narcissist will never give.
A Narcissist has a way of turning everything around so you begin to question yourself. He will do something terribly mean or cruel. You will talk to him about it, and by the end of the conversation, you are the one apologizing for some reason. A Narcissist knows how to manipulate better than anyone.
A Narcissist eventually becomes sarcastic and belies you constantly. You begin to feel you can do nothing right in his eyes and your presence is hardly tolerable You’re baffed You wonder what you did wrong to cause such a drastic change in his feelings toward you. You struggle desperately to return things to the way they were in the beginning. Unfortunately. as hard as you try, Things will never be the same again. He is not the man you thought he was A maddening and precarious way to live and can drive anyone to the edge of their sanity.
A lot of my coaching clients are struggling whether to stay or go, and that’s a choice that only each individual person is going to have to make for their own lives, based on their specific circumstances. But in order for anyone to make an educated informed and confident decision, you must base your decision on reality. That means getting extremely honest and real with yourself. You can’t make a lifelong decision when you are living in denial.
So today I’m going to tell you the six things that you will never get from a narcissist.
1. You will never get genuine, sincere consistent, honesty from a narcissist
If you are contemplating on whether to stay or leave a relationship with a narcissist, you need to understand that they will never ever be an honest person or someone that you can count on in any way shape form, or fashion to tell you the truth. As most of us know, narcissists are pathological liars, and that is going to be a consistent trait of theirs for the rest of their lives.
Your definition of truth and honesty is completely different than the narcissist’s definition, and you need to really understand that. The narcissist’s definition of truth and honesty is whatever version benefits them at that moment, as the narcissist’s needs and desires change so will the truth. So just know you can never trust or put any merit on the words that come out of their mouth. If their mouth is moving, they’re lying, it’s just that simple.
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2. Do not have any delusions that the narcissist will ever truly care about your feelings or take your wishes into consideration.
The narcissist considers one thing and one thing only in life and that is themselves. So if your wishes and desires happen to align with what the narcissist wants, then that’s a win for you. However, if your wishes and desires do not align with what the narcissist wants, I guarantee you the narcissist will disregard your wishes without so much as a second thought. You will never be on the list of things that are important enough to actually take into consideration.
So if you decide you’re going to stay, just know this is a fact in a reality that will never change.
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3. Don’t ever expect the narcissist to respect you in any way.
They will not respect your feelings, your wishes, your desires, your needs, your values, your ethics, they won’t even respect your time. They view other people as beneath them, less them, inferior, so there is no respect in this equation.
Respect is reserved for them and them alone, and if you are under some delusion that the narcissist will actually realize your value one day and that eventually, they will respect you and your feelings in a manner that you’re deserving of, unfortunately, you are going to be very very disappointed. They are never going to respect you, not in any way.
4. The narcissist is never going to validate you.
I don’t care what you achieve, what you do, or do not do. The narcissist is not ever going to validate you, your accomplishments, your achievements, nothing. In fact, narcissists are notorious for moving the goalposts.
They want you to be stuck running in circles, in that hamster wheel, desperately trying to achieve whatever it is you think that they want from you. And as soon as you do, guess what, now the goal post has moved over here and they want you to do something completely different.
So this is a game to the narcissist, and they enjoy watching you strive and work to impress them and give them what they want, and then rip the rug out from underneath you and change the rules. Validating anything positive about you or anything that you have achieved is just not going to happen.
5. The narcissist is never ever going to be loyal to you.
Their only loyalty is to themselves, their own agenda, and whatever they feel is in their best interests. I don’t care if you’ve been married to the narcissist for 50 years. I don’t care if the narcissist is your parent, if it comes down to something the narcissist wants or being honorable and loyal to you, guess what, they’ll drop you and whatever loyalty they should give you like a bad habit.
Narcissists don’t know the meaning, literally, they don’t know the meaning of loyalty. They are liars, cheaters, they will steal and manipulate you indefinitely. So just understand, you will never have their loyalty. No matter who you are in their lives, their loyalty is completely reserved for themselves and whatever it is that they want at that time, that is the only thing that they will ever be loyal to.
6. they will never give you their love.
You must understand that narcissists do not view other people even their own spouse or their children as living breathing people with feelings and needs of their own. They view other people and relationships like assets. How can these people, or how can this relationship serve the narcissist that is truly how they view their loved ones in their lives.
And when if that person in the relationship is no longer benefiting the narcissist in a way they feel, it should benefit them. They are capable of throwing away people and relationships just as they would a used tissue or a broken kitchen appliance. So please just understand that a narcissist will never really love you. They aren’t capable of genuinely loving anyone.
In closing, some of the things that I said in this article may seem a little harsh, but if you are contemplating whether you should leave a relationship with a narcissist or stay, it’s critical that you base your decision on truth and facts. You cannot gaslight yourself into believing the fantasy you want to believe or that the narcissist is trying to trick you into believing.
You must base your decision on hard cold facts, and these are the facts and I can’t tell you whether you should stay or go that is a decision that only you can make. But what I do know is that your decision needs to be based on reality, in truth, and not in denial. And these points I have made in this article are the true reality of what your relationship will look like if you decide to stay with a narcissist.
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