Today we’re going to talk about the narcissist mind games, or more specifically, the top mind games the narcissist uses on the target.
Because let’s face it. Everything the narcissist does is premeditated and calculated. The name of the game is manipulation with the goal of gaining complete control over your perceptions and beliefs. And eventually, take control over your life. It’s a really hard reality to accept that someone would willingly manipulate, use, and abuse you.
Narcissistic abuse is intentional. They’re very aware of what they’re doing as well as the effect that it has on the victim. And the narcissist mind games are very effective. They work very well. That’s why most narcissists operate from the same playbook because it works. And in this day and age, narcissists are everywhere.
So you have to have your eyes open and know the narcissist mind games that they’re playing when you see them so that you can protect yourself.
Below are the top 10 narcissist mind games.
1. Love bombing
The tactics that they used to left bomb us are intentionally designed to make us vulnerable. And they will psychologically elicit love appreciation, trust, and a sense of obligation from anyone. They start showering us with attention and flattery. Oh my god, we are the most amazing, talented, beautiful, intelligent, whatever. You name it, if it’s good, we are it. We’re the best cook, the best dresser, the best at our profession, the best parent, the best lover, but we are the best.
Unfortunately, we usually don’t realize that love bombing is used solely as a means of manipulation and control. Usually, we only become aware of this after we’ve been significantly burned or harmed by the narcissist mind games.
2. Mirroring.
The second mind game they use on us is something called mirroring. In a very short period of time, they discover what’s important to us. And what are our likes and what are our dislikes. What are our values? What is important and meaningful to us in our life? Then, they will pretend and behave as if those are also their likes and dislikes.
The things that are important and meaningful in our life are also important and meaningful in their life. And we’re thinking, wow, this is wonderful. I have finally met someone who is on the exact same page as me in all aspects of life. I just can’t believe how lucky I am to have found someone who shares the exact same priorities and interests in life.
3. Triangulation.
The third mind manipulating tactic that they usually will use on a victim is something called triangulation. They will try and pit you against an ex-partner, or someone that they work with, a friend, or even a stranger that they begin to flirt with in front of you to gauge your reaction.
Narcissists love to try and triangulate the current supply to see how jealous or possessive they can make him or her. Of course, they’re famous for telling the new supply that the old supply is insanely jealous. It was a nightmare to get away from them. They are crazy and unstable.
This serves to manipulate the new supply into filling pity and protection for the narcissist, as well as ensures that if the old supply reaches out to the new supply to warn him or her that the person in their life now is dangerous, that they’ll ignore the warnings and instead believe the narcissist that this person is unstable and jealous.
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4. Negative or sarcastic humor.
Another very popular mind game tactic that they like to use pretty early on is negative or sarcastic humor. They start the devalue cycle many times with put-downs and criticisms disguised as a joke. They’re gauging how much you’re willing to put up with, and how you will react. And, of course, if you get upset, they can manipulate you by saying: it’s just a joke, you’re being too sensitive to lighten up.
Eventually, these jokes will get more and more abusive until the narcissist no longer even masks them as jokes. It becomes just flat-out verbal and emotional abuse.
5. Pretend ignorance.
A fifth mind game tactic that they will typically always use to one degree or another is, pretend ignorance. If and when you confront them on their bad or abusive behavior, or when you catch them red-handed in a lie, they will claim that they had no idea what they did was wrong. Or that they honestly didn’t have the right information, so they aren’t responsible for lying to you.
They will profess that they are completely ignorant to whatever it is you’re confronting them with. And what’s infuriating about this tactic is deep down you know no one is this stupid. You know no one could be that blind or ill-informed to actually completely be knowledgeable about whatever it is they’re claiming to be ignorant of.
But because they are so persistent, and because they absolutely insist that they did not know, eventually, we will cave and accept this ridiculous response and accept it as truth.
6. Shifting blame.
This is one of the bad narcissist mind games they always use on a victim is, shifting blame. They are good at shifting blame. This is really their specialty and they are smooth as ice. No matter how horrific their behavior is. No matter how many times they do it. And no matter how many times they get caught red-handed doing the same horrible thing. It will be someone else’s fault, or it will be because of some unforeseen circumstance, but it will not ever be their fault.
They twist and manipulate the truth so much that it can make you dizzy. What’s even more infuriating is so many times, they will manage to shift blame to you for what they did. They acted abusively and did something terrible to you. And when caught, now of all of a sudden, it’s your fault, and they are adamant that this is your fault.
They seem so convinced that if you do not understand what they are doing, many times, you will eventually accept the blame.
Many times, a victim will end up apologizing for whatever it is that the narcissist is guilty of or what made the narcissist do it. And, of course, you have nothing to do with it, and you certainly aren’t responsible for it. But remember, at the heart of narcissistic abuse is psychological abuse. And this takes place over time.
It’s insidious. It’s gradual, but if you are exposed to psychological abuse long enough, things like this are going to happen. your mind and your thinking can be manipulated so badly that you eventually believe you are to blame for how the narcissist behaves.
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7. Neuro linguistic programming.
Another really disturbing form of mind control that many narcissists and sociopaths are using on other people, especially a target that they are wanting to sleep with. And it’s being promoted in different books about seduction, is NLP programming or neural-linguistic programming.
Basically, NLP is the use of perceptual behavioral and communication techniques to make it easier for people to change their thoughts and their actions. NLP can be and is being used in really wonderful and positive ways to help other people.
But unfortunately, when the information gets into the wrong people’s hands, they use it for their own personal desires, which can harm another person if they don’t know that these techniques are being used on them.
8. Projection.
Other narcissist mind games or mind-control tactics narcissists typically will use on a victim is projection. They project the things they are actually guilty of doing on to the victim. And many times, they will take credit for the good things the target has done. It’s like they exchange identities.
The silent treatment is another mind game that they will utilize. They use temper tantrums or rage withholding love or sex.
They also use victimhood as a mind game or a form of mind control on you. And, of course, any in all forms of gaslighting is a form of mind control or mind game.
All of these things are used to manipulate and distort your understanding of reality. So really, anything that they do that is used as a tool to change or distort your perceptions, your reality, your understanding of what is true and what is not true is at the heart of mind game a form of mind control and is psychologically abusive.
Those were the narcissist mind games that the narcissist will play with you. And I hope this is helpful for you recognizing what the games the narcissist wants to play with you. And finally, don’t forget to share this article with your friends or family.
Related: Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact
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