Today we are going to talk about things that narcissists enjoy and gain personal pleasure and satisfaction from that normal healthy empathetic people hate.
Part of a victim’s healing is going to be understanding that a narcissist does not think, feel, and desire the same things that we do. It’s critical that victims comprehend this, you cannot project how you think and feel onto the narcissist. We are too completely different species.
So as I said, today I’m going to try and shed some light on things that narcissists enjoy and get pleasure from, that normal empathetic healthy people hate and desperately try to avoid. A critical component to understand about narcissists is that they are devious, and they are constantly trying to fight off boredom.
Plus they have terrible impulse control and a complete lack of empathy for others and the harm and damage that they cause, and because of these things, they will enjoy and delight in many things that others absolutely hate.
1. Narcissists enjoy watching you endlessly try to gain their approval and then deny you or move the goal post once you achieve whatever it is that you believe that they wanted from you.
They gain tons of narcissistic supply, and have endless hours of entertainment, witnessing you working your tail off to please them, to make them happy, and then refuse to give you that approval or validation.
Life is a game to a narcissist, and the name of the game is how long is it going to take you to figure out what you are dealing with and who the narcissist is, and how much can they exploit you and harm you before you figure it out. They enjoy pulling the wool over your eyes.
They enjoy psychologically manipulating you into believing that there’s someone that they aren’t while abusing you right under your nose, and the more they get away with it, the more emboldened they become. And of course, these tactics of theirs will only get more and more extreme over time as it takes more and more of this for the narcissist to feel satisfaction.
A book: Divorcing A Narcissist And Other Jerks
2. Narcissists enjoy causing chaos
They love chaos, causing problems, frustrations, and discord in their homes and in their relationships. You must remember, narcissists, are addicted to narcissistic supply as well as they are continually trying to fight off boredom, which can and does become devious and harmful to others. When the person who is creating and responsible for the chaos doesn’t have a conscience, and doesn’t feel empathy for others, and feels entitled to do whatever it is, he or she wants, to find pleasure and happiness.
So the narcissist accomplishes this by triangulating members of his or her family, or between the children, or with his or her co-workers or with friends. They may cause chaos by launching a horrific smear campaign against someone they feel threatened by or envious of.
They might seek out extra extramarital affairs to produce the chaos and the entertainment that they so desperately need to acquire and desire. But they love and thrive on chaos and discord.
3. Narcissists love confusing you and manipulating your perceptions and reality.
Nothing is quite, satisfying, and empowering to a narcissist than getting a person to actually believe things that are clearly not true. All narcissists are psychological abusers and manipulators, which means they’re playing mind games on you, they are career gaslighters.
They enjoy manipulating your reality, and typically what they do is slowly get you to believe you are the problem. You are the responsible party for everything that goes wrong as well as for their behavior and abuse.
In fact, it’s very common for the narcissist to blame the victim for the very things they themselves are guilty of, and what’s even worse is that sometimes a victim actually believes it. And when the narcissist gains this kind of power and control over a victim’s mind and perceptions, it can have devastating consequences, and of course, this makes the narcissist feel incredibly powerful.
4. Narcissists enjoy and feel powerful when they hurt you
Remember, narcissistic supply can be a positive or negative supply. Narcissistic supply in its simplest form is attention from others that makes them feel special. Therefore, if they hurt you, you feel pain or suffering anyway from what they did, which makes them feel special.
So while it might not be getting your positive attention in the form of adoration, they definitely are gaining tons of narcissistic supply off your suffering, off of your hurt. If they hold the power to make you hurt, that’s a very rewarding position for them to be in. This satisfies their ego, this addiction they have to feel superior, this is one of the reasons that narcissists continue to do the horrific things that they do to their victims because it gives them pleasure and tons of narcissistic supply.
5. Narcissists enjoy backstabbing their victims
Specifically, the ones that actually love them and have entrusted them with their deepest darkest secrets. The narcissist delights in getting you to trust them and share your vulnerabilities with them, knowing full well that they will be using these very confessions against you at a later date to hurt humiliate and betray you.
The narcissist has no intention of being loyal to you or honoring your trust in any way shape form or fashion. In fact, the more the narcissist can betray your trust, shock you by stabbing you in the back, the more pleasure and enjoyment they gain.
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