Many of us have repeatedly come across such statements from loved ones: “Finish school, then you’ll do whatever you want,” “Finish school/college first, and then do all sorts of self-indulgence,” “Find a good job, and then think about your family ” etc. Of course, such attitudes from adults are easy to explain and at the same time are a good example of the delayed life syndrome – a condition that interferes with living in the present day, getting maximum pleasure and benefit from it (this applies to all life spheres without exception). As a result, we waste valuable time, miss opportunities, create false priorities.
What is delayed life syndrome?
For some already grown-up people, their whole life turns into an expectation of some event or phenomenon that will bring the necessary changes, happiness and finally allow them to do what they love, etc. One of the clearest signs of the delayed life syndrome is phrases like “Now my life does not suit me very much, but when I…, then everything will be just fine,“ Now I don’t feel happy, but when… ”. This “that’s when” can be anything: moving to another city or country, promotion, wedding, etc.
The delayed life syndrome, also known as the postponed life neurosis, gets its name because the person exposed to it lives in dreams of the future, rather than in the present. He seems to postpone his life for later and is in eternal anticipation of the event/day X. At the same time, consciousness seems to be fixed on the upcoming event, which is why we cannot spend time efficiently and simply “kill time”.
The delayed life neurosis can act as a defense mechanism of the psyche. It’s so nice and safe to be in familiar conditions – in your comfort zone. Outside of it, many problems and disappointments await us, but not victories and achievements. Also, a variety of factors can influence its development – from heredity and improper upbringing to self-doubt and emotional instability.
Signs of delayed life syndrome.
- You live in anticipation of something: the end of the working day, weekends, holidays, New Year’s holidays.
- For happiness, you always lack something: lose a couple of extra pounds, change your wardrobe, quit your job, move to another apartment or country.
- You are constantly waiting for the right time: when you get a higher education, move from your parents, have children, close a mortgage or loan.
- You cannot enjoy the present – you do not appreciate what you have and the people around you.
- Very often. you are not satisfied with your life, but you do not have a clear plan for what, when, and how to change. For example, you don’t like your current job, but you don’t do anything to find another.
- You constantly compare your own life with the lives of other people – you fix your attention on the fact that someone is slimmer or more successful, travels more often, earns more. All comparisons are not in your favor.
Did you recognize yourself? Then you need to urgently change your life strategy and begin to fight the delayed life syndrome. Otherwise, this is a road to nowhere, it will always seem that “something better” awaits you ahead.
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How to get rid of delayed life syndrome: 4 tips from a psychologist.
- Stop waiting – take action. After all, life is not a bright future or nostalgia for the past tense, but what is happening to you right now. Weekends are great, of course, but other days can be just as enjoyable.
- Do not store things until day X. Many people keep certain things with the hope that someday they will finally make repairs, move to a new house, get married, and achieve an ideal figure. Undoubtedly, things “for a new life” are beautiful and functional. But needless to say, most of them will remain things that no one has ever used.
- Try to understand what prevents you from enjoying the present. Life is not a rehearsal for a grand finale. Therefore, you should not deny yourself small pleasures until the loan is repaid, financial well-being improves, etc.
- When looking for ways to get rid of delayed life syndrome, try to minimize distractions (for example, retouched photos from magazines and Instagram), break up a large task into several sub-items, get help, and enjoy the process.
Many of us are always looking for reasons to realize our dreams later, sometime later. Do you often postpone your affairs, dreams, and life? If the answer is yes, we want to give you two effective pieces of advice: do not put off life until later and contact the Center for Harmony of Soul and Body “Here and Now” – a cozy space where you can get the support you need and take the first step towards achieving the desired result. calmness and peace of mind.
Those were the top psychological tips for today on how to get rid of delayed life syndrome. Please, don’t forget to share this article with your friends and family.
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